He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
