dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Randomize
