My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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