i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Drake has all the answers
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Randomize
