onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
