we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Randomize
