yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
