We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
