Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
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