You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Randomize
