On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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