he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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