Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
