I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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