i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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