Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
