her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
I had to cum in my sink.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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