2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
