about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
