Reggie can tackle my bush.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
