ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
