shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Randomize
