I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Randomize
