he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize
