I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
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