At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Randomize
