I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Randomize
