I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Randomize
