his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
