i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
