i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
As shirtless as possible
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Randomize
