That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
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