So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
