Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
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What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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