Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
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