i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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