Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
