it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize
