Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
lets start a swedish sibling band together
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
