I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
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