My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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