Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
You may now shotgun with the bride
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Randomize
