I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Randomize
