dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
