a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
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