the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Randomize
