DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Randomize
