I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
