i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Randomize
