if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
