What a fucking waste of an outfit
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Randomize
